Thank-you Winnebago Man!

I finished the doc before going to sleep and then had angry dreams! So mad, I woke myself up with a flaring expansion in my chest, tears in my eyes, and exclaiming to myself, "I'm so mad!" At what? There was a lot to be mad about, starting with myself for leaving the TV news just as mom and dad were about to come on- jeez, couldn't I have waited 8 minutes to go get something to eat??!!  Then a friend cut the hands off my body print and the woman who was supposed to sing me the sufi song wasn't paying attention and didn't know the words. C'mon People!!!  It felt good to be mad. Or maybe it just felt good to feel. When I wrote about it in my journal, I used the words, "That burns me up!" which is what my 14 year old self says, in what has become my favorite entry to read out loud.

It was a great doc...  seeing how the filmmaker, Ben Steinbrauer changed from nice laughing kid to angry frustrated guy in order to stay with this aggravating project, to stay with Jack Rebny that is, and then to see Jack transform, when he finally submits to meeting his fans at the Found Footage Festival. In a weird way, not for Jack but for the film, it was nice that he'd lost his sight. It allowed the camera to stay on his face as he heard the applause and laughter. To see the softening.

p.s. I might not have my website up after all, by showtime. But I'd love to be able to hear from you, and it's so hard to make comments on blog sites, so I'm going to try something... inserting a link to my e-mail so you can comment directly to me, if you like. When's the last time you were burned up mad?

SAY HEY

update: 5-5
It wasn't until after the Mortified performance last night that I realized my fave angry entry had been cut. Here it is:

Thursday, October 21, 10:00 PM (dark blue)

            Dear Diary,

            I’m angry! I asked Linda to ask Omar if he liked me, and he said, “She’s okay.” Then Linda told me that she went to Costa and Omar rode her on his motorcycle. Now she thinks she’s “cool” and Omar doesn’t like me. Jeff, this guy she’s supposed to be going to the movies with, and goes to Costa said he thinks I’m ugly and conceited, but not to tell me, so she tells me! That burns me up, also my ego. I don’t like him though, if he kisses me, but just thinks I’m O.K. He has 1,000 girls Linda is one. I like Steve Pflug.