High School Was Too High For Me

After the Mortified show, which was a total blast, I dream of wandering the streets of my adolescence. I stop by the church we started going to after Dad's accident. But I don't go in. I come to a school and walk down the empty redolent hallway with its dark wood and musty paper smells, and then to an empty classroom. I walk out the back door to an empty space with a tall sculpture, which I climb and then become terrified of the height. The ladder down is unreliable and I realize the danger is not as much in falling, as in becoming paralyzed with fear. Somehow I find another way. Girls stream into the space and I know I'm not supposed to be there, so leave. Looking back, I marvel at how the scary rigid sculpture has become flexible for them- it bends and brings them safely back to ground.

I come to a hospital where a client wants me to sneak her a glass of wine. She's making something out of fabric and I dig through my bag of scarves for her. I show them all an old clock I bought at a secondhand (ha, get it?) shop for $15. It's a wooden box that opens, with a sculpture on top like Michael de Meng would make. An art clock box. Someone asks who made it and I look on the bottom to see the word, "CAVEWOMAN." Visiting hours are over, it's time to go. A former client hugs me, crying, says, "You didn't spend very much time with me." With a pang, I realize she's right and I cry too. Another former client, who'd been anorexic, spontaneously exclaims, "I'm hungry!" and we both open our eyes wide in surprised gladness.

I visited all the institutions: A church, a school, a secondhand shop and a hospital. High school was too high for me, and this morning I cry with missing my clients. Life is really something, I tell ya.