Bleach Blotch

Y'know how when you have leftover paint on your palette and you can't bear to wash it down the sink so you just quickly slap it onto an old canvas or a piece of cardboard to use later for some mail art and how sometimes that turns out to be the best thing you did all day? Yeah, me too. Years ago, I used to use Sally Hansen's facial hair bleach and there was always some left over so I would just paint it onto a chunk of my head hair, thereby creating what I fondly referred to as my "bleach blossom." A couple years ago I switched over to this cute little glittery pink girly facial shaver but I decided I didn't like how the hair grew back in kind of stubbly. I think I would rather have blonde fur than dark stubble. So I went back to Sally's, the same box design (except now it has aloe vera!) with its little white tub of bleach and it's little white vial of "activator" and it's little white spatula and its little  white mixing tray. I followed the instructions carefully- 2 parts bleach to 1 part activator, slathered it on my upper lip and set my phone for 8 minutes. Meanwhile, there was a whole glistening blob of bleach waiting unused. Man, I was so tempted to paint it on my head again. But things are different now. Maybe you can't tell in this picture but half my hairs are silver, so to add blonde streaks would make me look like our old calico cat Patches, with her teeth falling out. I know, blonde streaks have nothing to do with falling out teeth, but somehow the association is there.

Point is, this is the kind of weird shit I do when I'm approaching a performance. I was watching the video the other day from "Triscuit Love Nest," and yep, I was cutting my own hair every day, rather than rehearse. A girl's gotta do SOMEthing with her anxiety. The front looked ok, but the back... well, that's what professionals are for.

Why am I even worried about facial hair though at a time like this?
I live in a town that reveres the 'stache.